a poem

every single day
there's a small
tap tap tap tap tap tap
of metal on glass
and i keep trying to remember
why i care about this sound
this
tap tap tap tap tap tap
of metal on glass

i get up and try to put it out
but the sound just finds me again
and i sit on the couch
as i check all the useless things
that make up our lives
and replace any meaningful interaction
(but i really don't care about this
abstraction of actual human beings
into voiceless words on a page
is more comforting than the reality
that they are real people with
hopes
faith
lives
loves)
and i try to forget about the sound
because it dogs me endlessly

i kiss my wife goodbye as she goes to work
and i see her drive off
make the sign that says "i love you"
and i make it back
i hope and (though i won't admit it) pray
that she gets to work alright
and i don't get a phone call or
two cops at my door
telling me they are sorry
that the one person
the one person i gave all my love to
the first person i see in the morning
the last person i see at night
is gone
and i am left alone
in a cold world without a wife
without a love that gives me strength
and hope

(i am rambling no?
i seem to have moved beyond the
tap tap tap tap tap tap
of metal on glass
that plagues me so
but i suppose that it doesn't really matter
in my world where i don't care
about sounds when the rest of the noise
that makes up life
begins to drown out that incessant
tap tap tap tap tap tap
of metal on glass)