RE:Finally heard "California Gurls" at a weeding a couple weeks ago

did you hear this is a test not a test but a test in name only
why did you not listen to me when you said
that you wanted to eat chocolate and sticky buns
you only wanted
to eat them
while i watched
while i stared at you
covered in food and writhing in pleasure
you are smooth all over
the food does not stick to any hairs
because you have none

why must you torment me
covered in precious sweets
only leaving me an empty teacup
with a packet of old earl grey tea from two years ago
birds stop on the windowsill and laugh at me
because i am not covered in honey and
gooey gooey chocolate

this is torture
i see you simply licking it off
like you were the tastiest cat in the world
and i cry
because i know you can only love the food
but you cannot love
me